Sometimes

There are days when I'm sad, others when I'm mad. Sometimes I wonder about the past, other times I worry about the future; but then there are days when I just enjoy NOW!! When I look at my life and all those in it,  I say "Thank You God for all you've done for ME" For each breath I'm allowed to take. My beautiful family and friends!!! My health and my wealth, although it may not be millions it's more than many. Thank God for my job, even though some days I think it sucks. My car that gets me to and from. The traveling mercy I receive on a daily basis. I just look at it all and enjoy the moments the little things in life, with no regard to what will happen next year or even tomorrow. The laughter and the tears are all things I'm grateful to experience.

Sometimes I just look in the mirror and smile, thinking what a mighty long way I've come. I listen to my children laugh and play and  it brings delight to my soul. Sometimes I just enjoy the moments that I've been so fortunate to have, cause spending time worrying does me no good. I'd rather just enjoy the NOW!

Sometimes........

Continued

I received the phone call regarding the HCG levels and they are going up as expected!! I'm still kinda in a state of shock and I find myself worrying about the little things. I have told a few more people. My mom, which was funny...I bought her a card that said congrats to the grandparents! It was really cool to watch her expression as she read it! I know she thought it was a Birthday card since her Birthday was the next day. She was excited and surprised. I'll tell my Dad soon, when I pay my next visit to see him and his wife.

We still haven't told our children just yet, not sure exactly what were waiting on but just haven't told them. We haven't told my sister yet either or any of my husbands family but we have a big event coming up and that will be the best time to tell his side of the family.

No nausea or any symptoms to speak of but I didn't have those with the other pregnancies either, so yeah me!! Well I'm sleepy alot and a  little cramping but that's it!! Not sure when my first Dr. Appointment will be (awaiting their call to schedule it) but I'm excited to see what comes next. The plan or not....... what will be will be and I know it's a blessing and I/we plan to enjoy the journey!

Until next time :)

Surprise

We decided that we would wait, at least a year to expand our family. Was I happy with this decision? Not exactly but I was willing to go with it. All I heard my husband of  ten years saying was he didn't want me to have his child! Not the fact that we have so much going on right now and in a year we can see more clearly.  There's only twelve months in a year and it'll give us time to get our head around somethings and be certain this is the direction in which we want to take our lives! This conversation was had last month. Well on Tuesday after we decided we should do something about the contraceptive situation (I had already decided to get back on something, I don't like the hormonal stuff but for now it'll do)



I decided to take a pregnancy test.......well what is that? Is that a faint line?

What does that even mean? Okay just to give you some background it's five o clock in the morning and I'm trying to be quiet so no one can hear me and  no one wakes up. I feel excited and scared at the same time. This wasn't the plan, am I really? OMG it's been so long since I've seen two lines on a pregnancy test (9 years). Shyt, let me consult a friend since I don't wanna tell my husband just yet. "Yep my line was faint too" She Say's!! I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I feel responsible. This isn't exactly a surprise as we all know where babies come from but honestly I wasn't expected it either. We weren't behaving like we wanted to wait. But deep down there was apart of me that didn't think it would happen. I have had some problems physically and I kinda didn't see it as a possibility. I wanted it but I didn't truly believe it would happen and so we just kinda went with the flow. After my faint line I decided to make some phone calls.

I call the Doctor and went in to get blood work done on 2/8/11 results take 24-48 hours to come back.  I received a call and they confirmed that indeed I am expecting. It's time to tell hubby....he responded but not the way I imagined, he repeated me like he didn't hear me the first time or he needed confirmation of what I stated. We discussed it and are moving forward, we are happy yet a bit nervous.  I have another blood test today 2/11/11 since that one was taken so early they wanna make certain the levels are going up as they should. I've only informed three people thus far. The Mister and two dear friends of mine.

I feel blessed and elated but at the same time I feel scared and UN prepared. I know this is going to be a journey of excitement and changes and I plan to write about it sharing my thoughts and feelings along the way.