No time like the present

I've learned over the last few weeks that life is all to short and there is no time to waste on grudges, hate, regret, or anything that doesn't make you happy!! It's not that it's a new lesson, I've known all along but things take place in your life that bring truths to a place where they can no longer be ignored. On May 15, 2011 my life was forever changed. I received a call from my best friends husband telling me that something was wrong. I was informed that she fell out and was not breathing and her heart was not beating. I lost all composure and began to pray, he told me he would call me back, that the paramedics were working on her and he would call me when he had more information.

I sat at my computer and cried and prayed waiting for him to call me back. All shorts or thoughts went through my head. What seemed like an eternity, finally he called only to tell my husband that my best friend of almost twenty years passed away. I cried and screamed and yelled NO but it didn't matter. She was gone from this world and on to the next. I have felt so alone in these last couple of weeks, yes I have my husband and children and other friends but none like Tracy. She was my Ace the person I called about virtually everything, the person that broke down the walls that I have up and loved me regardless of all my faults. Anytime I called her she was always there, when other friends let me down she was in my corner. I'm so deeply sadden by the loss of my friend but I'm so very grateful to have met her and shared apart of my life with her. She showed me what a real friend was and although my heart is heavy, I smile with every tear I cry. I have no regrets regarding our friendship, we both knew how much we loved each other and we had a wonderful friendship that I will forever cherish.

In death you look at life and what you're doing with yours and I want more than ever to live my life to the very fullest. I want to cherish those little things that at times we take for granted. My advice would be to all who have ears to hear....love those in your life, take time with your family and friends. Get rid of those that are not for your good. This loss has been devastating to me and I find myself crying just thinking of her and the fact that she is not with me anymore. My husband told me that she is still with me and always will be....I explained I'm not crying for her, I'm crying for me because I don't have her here....we can't laugh together anymore, I can't call her anymore. I was then reminded that there is new laughter to be had and new life coming forth!! She would want me to
(K. I. M- Keep it moving) I can hear her voice telling me to stop crying and letting me know that she is alright and that I must press forward. With those thoughts I will press on and live my life to the fullest for this is what she would have wanted. If you have a true best friend, let them know often that you love and appreciate them!

Tracy Vickers Dejerinett you will forever be in my heart and with me ALWAYS!!! I love You